Snotty

I didnt expect the case to turn out to be something so similar to what I’ve been through. And i hope they didn’t notice i was actually trying not to cry… I’m such a loser. Thank God my runny nose covered it up. Then i went back to the office toilet to cry. And i still want to cry.

I’m half regreting what i set for my learning contract because i don’t really want to learn about working with families anymore. It’s difficult because it triggers memories that i don’t want to remember. I think about what Franklin said and i know it’s true that I’m not over it. And i don’t know how to deal with my emotions/hurts.

I really want to bawl in the train. But i think people will judge me haha Jesus please help me. I need to find somewhere to cry because I’m all snotty.

Sitting across the boy’s mother, it’s as though I’m sitting across mine, except I’m not because i’m suppose to be a professional. And i can’t be vulnerable.

It’s hard to admit but it hurts because sometimes you yearn for the presence of a supposedly trusted person, and as desperately as you want it, it never comes.

I wish i can run away now but i know i can’t and i shouldn’t. I don’t even know if i should tell my sup anything… i kinda don’t want to. But it’s going to be hard if he asks me questions and i can’t answer…

You steady my heart.
You steady my heart.
You steady my heart.

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