Overflow

I really wanted to talk about these things on instagram but I THINK MY FRIENDS ARE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE I’M TOO ANNOYING.

So I’ve been telegramming myself over everything that happened. It’s kinda like my reflection platform, not just professionally, but also personally and spiritually. Not forgetting i have official reflection journals to submit but they are not so personal imo. AND I REALISED THIS BLOG EXISTS. I think it’s going to be used for a great purpose in storing all that I’ve learnt.

Last night i had sleep paralysis, i think maybe i was too tired. And i remembered i read somewhere to try moving my fingers and it worked HAHA but i still couldn’t move and i had this ongoing nightmare of this chinese grandma who was holding an indian toddler (??) I was trying to carry the toddler and when the toddler had her arms wrapped around me, the chinese ah ma told her to pressed down on my neck. Yes i thought i was going to die.

Long day today but it’s so fulfilling being here. I don’t even remember how many times i said i love doing this. I LOVE THIS. I walked in and i looked at all my colleagues (more like looking at their eye bags) and i was just so amazed at the work they do.

We had clinical live session today, and it is so amazing because it’s so real. The complexities of human life, looking at family dynamics, subsystems, time line of life. I just can’t look at youth ministry in the same way. Sometimes i think my sheeps require some form of social work intervention.

And, how does a social worker not feel pressured when she has 6 other social workers and 5 training interns watching her through the CCTV LOL I can’t imagine myself doing it.

AND OH MY GOSH, i really do feel very privileged because out of all the interns, I’m the only one who gets to interview clients. Partially because of what i set under my learning objectives. My sup will be watching me, either in the same room or over the CCTV.
I’m super proud of you Jamie for setting objectives not for the grades but because you want to walk away learning something. Tbh i have never given any thought to grades at all. I’m just hungry to learn.

Okay, moving on i sat beside the centre director after the clinical session (stress) and it was kinda like a debrief/feedback time. Although i had a point that i thought would be great if the social worker explored more with the client, i was afraid to share. What if my points are invalid? But i did it anyways and it wasn’t invalid, in fact it was useful.

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU JAMIE CHUA.

There’s just so much to do and think about, and i really thank God for that bit of time over the past two days to reflect.

Sometimes i think pouring out on instagram may be stumbling, cos i might sound like i’m complaining. But i just wanted things to be real. And last night i was reminded of what i left behind and should leave behind daily.

Leaving behind fears, leaving behind doubts, leaving behind limitations.

Jamie you need to learn to trust yourself and trust God. Trust that what you do can be beneficial to the people around you.

And i realised i need to learn to give myself credit too, i think it’s good for my growth where i don’t just learn about my weaknesses, i learn about my strengths too.

My thoughts are just running wild, flowing everywhere, the brain and the heart is full, thank You God for putting me here. I think working with children and youth has always been my passion because i feel that they could be at a vulnerable stage of their life, and i want to be there to empower them. Maybe 5 or 10 years down when i feel weary and i get tired, i would look back at this and remember why i want to do what i do.

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