Favour

Last week, a very good friend of mine said that i have favour with people and she envies that favour that i have. I wasn’t really sure what she meant by that until today somebody asked me if i would hang out with them.

So it hit me all at once what my good friend said because i never expected that somebody to ask me to hang out with them.

So i kinda sought the opinion of another friend because he’s super observant about things like this. I asked him if i had favour with people. Well, we both know it’s favour from God too. But i wanted to know why and how come.

This is what he says:

You are a very fun person to be with that people just find it enjoyable to be around your presence. You’re real and not afraid to be yourself. Authenticity is a strong of attraction because it displays firm confidence. Don’t be stumbled as i say this, i’m very objective when i say that you are physically, asthestically well pleasing to the eye. Given a choice to hang with good looking or ugly (physical pov) we naturally turn to good looking. And your character and personality lifts beyond just the physical but to a deeper level. So you can say your physical appearance is like a leverage to put you a little in a better position than others for people you meet for the first time and your personality, trait, character pulls you up above the leverage as people look deeper.

So why you are favoured is because you got a good start (leverage), then your personality takes it away.

I was telling him that being favoured among people means that they would want to hang out with me. And i think it’s really weird and scary all at the same time because i never expected something like this, and it could be a blessing or it could also turn into something really bad.

What if i become selective of who i hang out with? What if i miss out on doing what’s important? What if i make the wrong choice?

But at the same time, it’s like God, what can i do with this favour that i’m receiving? What can You do with this favour?

Favour, favoured. It can turn to pride.

Character > Talent

Last night, i came to a point of realisation that it’s really not all about talent. It really is not. The fact that I’m desperate, because i can’t do everything on my own, makes it that I’ll take anyone who is willing. Despite age, despite experience, despite their limitations. Anyone who is willing to make time, anyone who is willing to learn, I’ll use them. How often i overlook this fact, and though I’m willing, i often box myself up because of my limitations. Then i see God in the big picture, how he wants to use people who are willing, and what he can do through them… Everything kinda clicked last night and it all makes sense now. It makes a lot of sense.

“Jesus didn’t pick up people with talents but He picked up people with character.”

Human work is dynamic.

Why did i do what i did? Why is he like this? How come? Why?

“Behind every fault, there is a need.”

“It is alarming how you are an introvert and you don’t have time for yourself.”

“Some candles burn bright but they burn out fast.”

“Don’t try to be sufficient on your own.”

“It is inevitable to make mistakes.”

“Why do you give your youths second chances but not yourself?”

Dearly Loved

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Colossians 3:12

How humbling it is to know that i’m loved at a great cost, at a high price, with much suffering and sacrifice.

Thank You. Thank You. And Thank You.

Jesus, my life is not worth living if i’m not living for You. Make me more like You in all of Your ways and let Love guide my life.

Listen

No time to organize my thoughts and it’s all jumbled up, but it’s fine because Jesus i know you understand and that is all that matters.

Don’t cut back
Don’t doubt
Don’t go back to the old mindset
Is it doubt or unbelief
What is our response
Let there be faith
Faith declaration
Victory declaration
Claim promises
No grumbling
Don’t you dare talk about schedules
Don’t you dare whine about being packed
Continue to do what He says to do
Listen to the Holy Spirit
Obey
Don’t make small compromises
Listen
Pray
Listen
Converse
Listen
Pray

Good Kind of Different

“You have changed.”

Okay i don’t know about you, but i don’t want to hear that from someone unless it’s good change.

Two of my friends said that i have changed, ever since i went to promised land. They said i didn’t use to be like this. Which is half true. Afterall, they met me when i was withdrawn, when i socially isolated myself from everyone. When i was extremely scared and timid and in need of a God to mend a broken heart.

I used to be this deranged in secondary school, mainly to mask my feelings. To be honest, I’m not too sure if I’m a little insane now because that’s the real me or because of the hype. I catch myself being too loud sometimes.

I was shocked when she said that i make my presence known. I was like “wait what do i do it intentionally?” and to my relieve she said no. Because if she said yes then i REALLY need to isolate myself and rethink my actions. She also said i have a lot of favour from the people in the different regions. A favour that she never had. I still don’t know what that means. But i will try figuring out if it’s good or bad.

I really just want to blend in well and not be seen by anyone, really. I do admit, sometimes the things that i say or do are uncalled for and does draw quite a bit of attention… which was why i said maybe i lost myself in the hype.

I told 2 different people today that the call can be lonely. Everyone thinks I’m having a jolly great time in the promised land and the whole world loves me and i have no struggles. It’s not true. I went to the promised land bearing the title leader. As a leader, there are characteristics that i need to live up to. I need to initiate, i need to be proactive, i need to talk to people. It’s a lonely walk sometimes. I have no one to talk to, like no good friends that i can trust to pour out my emotional roller coaster. WELL OKAY I HAVE JESUS. But sometimes we do need christian fellowship that can edify us.

To me, i think, it was a good change. I came out of my cave and i became bolder. I didn’t exactly realised how i was really feeling, i think they were more shocked than i was because the tear faucet just turned on. Yet i hope my friend knows that I’m still me, though I’m a little louder, I’m still me.

Dear Me

Dear me,

Hello. You are an idiot. Would you please get over your inadequacies?

Okay no, I’m sorry. I want to be nice today.

Let’s try that again.

Hello to me. Hi. HI THERE. You are able. Maybe you think you are not equipped, but He equips you. It’s not always about you. Don’t look at you. Look at Jesus. Would you just trust in Him?

Hello me. Be bold, be brave, be courageous, be audacious.

Hello me. Sometimes when you feel like you can barely breathe, i think it’s okay to let out a huge sigh, just don’t do it in front of people. Go hide somewhere and tell me that i am great and i am doing fine and i can do fine. Tell me that i have a God who is greater than i am. Remind me to be bold because I forget.

Hello me. You don’t have to bear the load on your own, because He’s waiting to bear it for you. Give it to Him. Don’t try to do it on your own.

Hello me. You need to love me even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you can’t find reasons to. You love me. You declare good things over me. Be kind to me. Don’t beat me up. And trust me. Trust me please.

Love,

Me.